Parenting.

Why are the trends right now for parenting? Well people are waiting longer to have children. They want their career to be set-up and to be financially ready. Another reason is that people are choosing to have fewer children or choosing to have none. Parents are becoming more permissive. They want to be their child's best friend instead of being their parent. The last one for now is that people are replacing children with pets, cars, or anything else.

The purpose of parenting that was stated in a series of movies that we were able to view, is that parents are to protect and prepare our children to survive and thrive in society.

One thing I have learned throughout this week of study on parenting is, to not let the world be the focus. Teaching comes from within the home. Home is where we are able to teach our children about the gospel of Christ. We are able to rear them up, to be honest, true, law-abiding, caring members of society. In the home is where we need to teach. Don't let the world be the parent for your children. Let the home be the place. 

Finances

Insights from Elder Ashton's "One for the Money"
1. Pay an honest tithe.

• Blessing come. Automatic budgeting- already take out 10%. More inclined to be responsible with money. Strengthens a marriage. 

2. Teach the children the importance of working and earning.

• I think this is important. As a child, nothing came free. In order to earn any amount of money, my parents taught us to work; taught us that money doesn't come easy. You feel better when you work for something than just getting it. 

3. Learn how to manage money.

• I felt like I started learning this as a young teenager at school. When I got to high school, I had to take a personal finance class. It taught me the importance of finance and the importance of a check book. In Elder Ashton's talk, he suggests that the husband and wife rely on each other. Learn money management together. 

4. Home

• "Buy the type of home your income will support." Keeping improving your home, make it beautiful. 

5. Involve yourself in the food-storage program

• When money is tight, food storage is a super hero. We've been counseled from the brethren to start a food storage program. We don't know where our life is going to go, but being prepared will lessen the stresses. "Accumulate basic supplies in a systematic and orderly way." 

 

How does your family counsel?

In my family, our family counsel usually takes place on Monday night after FHE. We talk about the little issues, to the big issues. My dad usually leads the counsel and asks for our opinions and thoughts. It's kind of difficult these days, because there is only two siblings at home, so when I get home, there is more discussion. 

I think it's important to have family counsel because, I think, it allows open discussion and communication. Everyone is heard and is allowed their allotted time to give their thoughts. 

We see a certain pattern in the church, with the head of the church, right down to our very own families. The most important counsel is in the family. In the family, is where learning starts. Parents teach the gospel and apply the gospel principles to life. We learn in the family. I think it's important to start and end with prayer. Then bring up the issues that need to be discussed. When everyone has come to a consensus, restate the issue and the proposed solution. 

It's important to involve the family in the decisions of the home. Everyone needs to be a where. I think when one member gets left out, it isn't good. Allowing everyone to know and decide brings the family closer together. I will bring the family counsel into my home. It's important.

Stress.

We talked this week about family stress and crises. When we talk about crises, there is two things that are brought by it. The first one is danger. The second one is opportunity. We can either choose to grow from the opportunities or face the problems. Thinking about crises, the population thinks about the bad; about death, a job loss, and sickness. But there are other crises, such as having a baby, getting a new job, a house, etc. 

With stress and crises, comes coping. We can either choose to be effective or ineffective about it. Effective coping is put into five parts: take responsibility, affirm your own and your family's worth, balance self-concern with other concern, learn the art of re-framing, and use available resources. We can build up our effective coping, by the every day things, that involves the family. Birthdays, vacations, and other types of family celebrations are a good way to store up happiness and effectiveness. When it comes to ineffective coping, it is split into three parts: denial, avoidance, and scapegoating. Denying the problem or casting it off, isn't going to solve anything. Even though it might be difficult to being the problem to the surface, it will ease the burden or pain. There are those times where avoiding the problem in general is good for a time, but it doesn't make it go away. Using the effective resources and building your emotional bank account, will help ease the stress and make it more bearable.

Sex Education in Schools.

This week I learned a lot. We talked about sex, affairs, and sex education in schools. We read an article from NBC New York. This article is about sex education in schools. After I read it, I was floored. Here is just a paragraph or two from the article. "Middle school students will be assigned "risk cards" that rate the safety of different activities, the paper says, from French kissing to oral sex.

The workbooks for older students direct them to a website run by Columbia University, which explores topics such as sexual positions, porn stars, and bestiality. The lessons explain risky sexual behavior and suggest students go to stores to jot condom brands and prices."

Recalling from my high school days, this is a whole lot racier than what I learned in my high school sex education class. It just, once again, confirms that our world isn't doing very good. It's sad that these pre-teens and teenagers have to be educated in all of this. 

Many parents have commented on the issue and are concerned. There is a comment section at the bottom of the page and there has been many statements that children should be moved to private schools or to be home schooled. Also, that parents aren't taken the responsibility of teaching their children; that they are leaving it up to the state to educate.

President Kimball said, "...I raise my voice to say to you: “You are in a hazardous area and period. Tighten your belts, hold on, and you can survive the turbulence.”

Appreciated.

This week was really insightful in class. We learned a lot about starting a family and the importance of leaning on one another for support in a marriage. Today in class we talked about what happens when children start coming into the family. Something that was really insightful was when we were talking about how to include the husband with the pregnancy. We discussed the importance of how it strengthens the husband and wife. The wife should include the husband when she attends the ultrasounds, and when the baby moves, allow the husband to feel the baby kick. Also, to talk about the baby, the feelings that each of you is experiencing, share the experiences that are new and exciting. After the baby is born, do things together- changing diapers, feedings, etc. One thing that was mentioned, was that we have so many ways of communication. If our child is starting to walk, share it via phone/video to your spouse. Making sure that he can see what is going on. I think it also is important to go on dates, by either creating or looking for opportunities to be alone. It's important to make the husband included and appreciated. It's important that each of you is leaning on one another, strengthening and building one another up. I can't express how important it is, to bond with one another, to share experiences.

What is Love?

Many of us can't even express in words of what love is. 

Dictionary.com defines love as...

love [luhv]

–noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.

4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

In class, we defined love as great care and respect for another person, growing together in a spiritual sense, forgetting oneself for another, and a rush of endorphins. Did you know there is actually four kinds of love? I didn't. In class we went over each one of them and was asked a question: Which one of the four is the most important? How would you rate each one out of 100%? I had written down:  Storge- 40%, Eros- 30%, Philia- 20%, and Agape 10%. My thought process was that Storge was the most important in any relationship. It is the love between a parent and child, and between you and your spouse. This love is unconditional. Eros was next because romantic love is romantic and important in a marriage. But after we had talked more about it, it is important to have it equal across all four of them. Each type of love is important is any relationship. Then the question was posed about passionate verses companionate  love. Which one is more important in marriage? I say companionate love. The three reasons why, is because this love is stable, can last a lifetime, and has strong emotional bonds- your best friends. This love is more realistic only for others to see, but to you and your spouse. 

So my question to you: What is love? 

Roles & Gender

It's important to understand the importance of roles in the family. Each member of the family holds at least one. We usually assign the provider as the father. The resource manager as the mother and also the peace keeper. A child holds roles also. I was pondering about the different types of roles each of the family members contribute. I think that each one of us could hold all the same roles, but each of us was blessed with the role that would work the best in the family. 

"Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose... Marriage between man and wife is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity." The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The world is changing rapidly. Media has put a heavy focus on homosexuality. The world views it as normal, acceptable and I would say glamorous. We have been counseled from the Brethren that this act of living is a grievous sin. President Hinckley says, "We want to help these people, to strengthen them, to assist them with their problems and to help them with their difficulties. But we cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same sex situation. To permit such would make light of a very serious and sacred foundation of God-sanctioned marriage and its very purpose, rearing of families." 

Satan is working so hard at tearing families. We know that. We've seen it happen. Let him not come inside our homes, families, hearts, minds, and thoughts. He will do whatever it takes. "Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God." (D&C 121:45) Gender is essential to the Plan. Marriage is essential. Bringing children into this life within the bonds of matrimony is essential. Homosexuality disrupts the Plan; Satan disrupts. 

Head the counsel from the Brethren.

"Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God." (D&C 121:45)

Diversity.

This week we talked a lot about class, diversity and culture. When we think about what kind of social class a person is in, we usually think of the following: money, income, education, home, neighborhood, toys (cars, ATVs, snowmobiles, etc), name, appearance, friends and associates, occupation, etc. We could keep going on. Isn't it true though? Then our teacher had a split into pairs and asked us, what is your socioeconomic class? Thinking about where I grew up and the income that my parents had, I put down low middle class. I'm from a small town in Wisconsin. There are lots of farmers and small business owners. Usually if you make a decent pay, you travel outside the town for work. I placed my family at the lower end of the middle class spectrum. My family doesn't have "toys" or a big house. We get what we need, with some to spare. My parents are frugal. I think that's where I get it from. 

I think sometimes we judge others for what they have or don't have. I think the lesson that is pulled out of this, is not to judge others. So many times I have caught myself thinking poorly about someone who has all the luxuries or who doesn't have any. I have thought about myself as being a higher than others. My dad serves as the Stake President back home. Knowing that, I would use it to do things. I thought that since I was his daughter, it gave me special privileges. But in all reality it doesn't. I think it also is important to understand that everyone comes from a different background. We each have our own experiences that has shaped our own "culture" and class. Whether or not we have the name or  have the money, we all are loved by our Heavenly Father. We are part of His class and that's all that matters.

Family Rules

This week in class we talked a lot about Family Systems Theory. We talked about the different roles, subsystems, boundaries, etc. The assignment for today's class was to list of rules of some behaviors that are unspoken in the family.

1. Always knock when a door is closed.

2. Remember to say your "Please and Thank-Yous"

3. Ladies first

4. When you make a mess, clean it up.

5. Be nice to each other.

6. If you're sassy, you get soap.

7. At 5PM Dad gets the remote to watch the news.

8. Disney movies on Sundays.

Critical.

We discussed in class on Wednesday about trends in the world, according to marriage, family, etc. Bro. Williams asked us if we thought regarding each trend on the board, if they were critical, significant, or not important. My response to all of the trends- Critical. Premarital sex ties in with each of the trends. It's a domino affect. The family is central to God's Plan. Each of these items break-up the family. Satan's hands are rooted deep. As a family we need to pull the weeds out and protect the Plan with all our might. I'm taking a marriage class and we've been discussing trends as well. So many people are living together- cohabitation. We had viewed a film in that class regarding marriage. Most of the people that were interviewed thought that marriage isn't as important. That a couple's first marriage is a "starter marriage." Meaning that it's okay to get divorced. (Basically a get out of jail free card). The world has so many different views on the family and on marriage. We, as members of this church, need to the examples. We need to share with others our thoughts and teach them. We need to be more informed, to combat the things that the world is saying. Elder Nelson said, "You have been reserved in heaven for your specific time and place to be born, to grow and become His standard bearers and covenant people. As you walk in the Lord's path of righteousness, you will be blessed to continue in His goodness and be a light and a savior unto His people." (May 2011, Ensign) 

Let us be a light!

Become.

Yesterday in class we were discussing Elder Oaks' talk "The Challenge to Become." Our teacher was asking us questions about how we could incorporate the Learning Model in our lives. We went through the steps and discussed each of them. The main point that our teacher wanted us to get, was the becoming.  He had asked us, "What do you want to become?" He gave us a few minutes to write down our thoughts. 

My thoughts consisted of a lot of things. Some dealt with school, and becoming a disciple of learning. Other thoughts dealt with becoming myself: a daughter of God. This activity made me think about my life. Am I making those preparations to one day make those sacred covenants in the temple? A thought that came to my mind is, am I speaking with the tongue of angels? It's not that I am living my life in a wrong way, but I need to make myself even better, by becoming, and keeping that a constant thought in my mind.